HE Started the Joke
by Mckennagrace
Summary: (Based from the suicide version of Joker and Harley Quinn) Joker and Harley Quinn find out some interesting news, they're going to have a baby. Will the joker allow it? Prequel and eventually a matchup to Saber007's,"I Started a Joke," Total rights are Saber007 except for my interpretation. Rated M for Language and some smut in later chapters
1. Updated Chapter 1

**BIG NEWS PEOPLE! Saber007 and I have have been working together to create something awesome. Her story is written in the point of view of Lucy the demon spawn of the Joker of Harley Quinn (Suicide Squad version). However I thought it would be awesome if we created aversion from Joker's POV that matched up. SO here it is.**

 **Reviews Reviews Reviews- I need ideas, and everything else**

As I slowly creep my eyes open, I realize its light outside. I am almost always asleep right now. Why the hell am I awake?

Then I start to realize the clashes coming from the kitchen.

Harley.

I am going to kill that girl.

"Harley…" I roar from the bedroom door.

She has covered the kitchen in flour, not to mention the chocolate frosting that's all over her face.

"Hey Puddin. What are you doing up?" She says softly yet annoyingly squeaky.

"What do you think? You sound like a damn raccoon in a dumpster full of glass."

"I tried to be quiet."

"Well that didn't work" I said whiffing the side of her head.

"Ow!" She seemed to scream.

I wave my hand at her to shut up as I grab a glass and head to my office. I need a drink.

I sat. in my chair looking at my office. MY office. Harley seemed to have taken over my penthouse with throw pillows and vases full of purple flowers. In reality I didn't mind them but I would never let her know that. But my office is the one place her sparkles and chocolate frosting do not touch.

I heard a crash of glass smashing. I sprint out of my office to see Harley keeled over crying. I am immediately scared out of my wits despite my calm march towards her.

"Harley you idiot, what did you do?"

"I tried to reach the pan on the top shelf but my hand came down and knocked over your favorite glasses." She said quietly still crying a bit.

I growled and looked at her with a stare of death then I walked to my office. I had noticed the cut on her forehead, and I didn't need her having a scar. She would never let it go. Priss. Where the hell is Frost when you need him?

Frost answered the phone and sounded like he was just awoken from a 200 year old nap.

"Boss?"

"Uh, yeah, get your ass up here. And call the plastic surgeon."

"On my way." He obediently replied.

I hung up the phone abruptly and went back to check on Harley. She had gotten up from the floor and was now getting blood all over the bathroom sink.

"Harley get in the shower. You're making a mess every where you go."

"But Mistah J it's gonna-" The wave of my hand cut her off.

"Get. In. The. Shower." I growled giving my death stare again.

She obediently stepped into our large shower and sat down.

"There's Daddy's good girl." I said as a stream of blood went down her temple. I grabbed a wash cloth from the cabinet and threw it at her.

She looked so pitiful hurt and with red puffy eyes, but I was still pissed that she woke me up, made a mess, then broke my good whiskey glasses.

I grabbed my phone in complete rage that Frost was not here yet with the surgeon.

"Frost where the hell are you with that surgeon."

"Sorry boss we had a bit of trouble."

"Did you threaten him?"

"Yes, that was the issue. He wanted to die."

"Is he dead- you know what I don't care. Find a good surgeon, threaten him, and get your ass over here in thirty minutes before I lose my cool."

"Yes Boss."

I turned my attention towards the bloody blonde that was currently sitting in my shower.

"Harley are you dead yet?"

"No. I'm just a little dizzy." She said starting to gag.

"Huh?"

"Mistah J I think I'm gonna be sick."

Before I had time to react she had already begun to throw up into the drain. Any normal person would be gagging at the sight but I was not phased. Just annoyed that she was that weak. Though it was unusual for the infamous Harley Quinn to fall weak, I have to say it worried me a bit.

After she had finished emptying her stomach contents into my 15 thousand dollar shower she was covered in vomit. I told her to take off her clothes, and she stupidly replied she was covered in vomit. I told her that was the point and she laughed that high pitched laugh.

"Harley sometimes I could just hit you across your head with that bat of yours."

"I'm sorry Mistah J, for everything."

"I know you are. Now do what I say and take off your clothes and rinse off."

After I said this she nodded and began to strip off what little clothes she was wearing exposing her pale soft skin.

We are not too shy of each other's appearance so when I go in the shower she follows in after me softly washing my bright green hair and when she goes in she has things to take care of so I usually just observe unless she invites me in which is most of the time. Needless to say we have sex pretty much every time someone gets in the shower. I couldn't ask for anything more of a measly shower.

"Boss?" Frost yelled from my front door breaking my train of thought.

"Well, it's about time. Funny thing about time, it just keeps going so the more you lallygag around the more time you lose." I realized that had made no sense, so I looked at him impatiently waiting for the doctor.

He looked around for a moment and realized he had tried to sneak out of the door and so he grabbed him by the collar and yanked him in my penthouse.

"Here you go boss."

I whistled for Harley and she came trotting out in a small towel. I looked at her with a most hateful glare and she turned around to put on a t-shirt and shorts.

"Now Doctor, I want you to fix up her head and I want minimal scarring. Got it?" I growled again as I saw his eyes graze Harley up and down.

"You got it." He said catching my jealous glare.

"YOU. Clean that mess up." I said firmly to Frost.

"Got it Boss."

"Now Harley. I have to ask you a few questions before I give you a general anesthetic."

"Shoot."

"Do you have a blood clot disorder, or other diseases of the blood?"

"No."

"Have you consumed any alcohol in the last 2 hours"

"Nope. Are you almost done?"

"Yes, just one more. Are you trying to get pregnant, pregnant, or breastfeeding?"

Harley hesitated before answering this last question. I could feel my breathing getting heavy.

"Not that I know of." She replied after thinking for a moment.

"If you are pregnant this could trigger birth defects, and other problems. Do you want to continue?"

"Uh, no. Just do it without a painkiller. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

Before I had realized it, I had left the room. My mind was spinning to even the thought of Harley being pregnant. This was just all too much for me. I could hear Harley whining from the living room, but I didn't care anymore. I wanted to know if she was pregnant, but I don't think even she knew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the code issue on the first chapter... it's all fixed and ready to read. Well here's chapter 2, chapter 3 should bring some interesting moments for you dirty humans.**

"Frost." I roared from my office. I could hear is fast, heavy footsteps going through the living room.

"Yeah Boss?"

"Go and get a pregnancy test for Harley. You speak to no one and when you get back, do not say a word just give it to Harley and go away."

"Got it"

I leaned back in my chair and I could feel my blood boiling. Another baby? This just won't do. Not one bit. There will be no more babies in my future.

HaHaHa

This can't be happening again. What if she is pregnant? Do I kick her out? Do I kill the baby? Do I kill Harley and the baby?

No. I couldn't kick her out, the plant would never let her come back.

I could kill the baby, but then Harley would never be the same and she would never live it down.

Shit.

I allowed her to keep the baby the first time so she is going to assume that she can keep it.

She thinks wrong.

I wonder if she knows. Motherly instincts maybe?

I don't know what to do in this situation.

The universe has taken two babies from me already, I don't think my ego can take losing another. Can I really let this baby go?

HAHAHAHA

Sometimes I wish I had spayed Harley.

I sat in my office with my mind going a thousand miles a minute thinking about what I should do with Harley.

Then I really started to think, why would I give Bats the pleasure of Harley not having this demon because I'm scared?

I mean I'm not scared I'm just being overly cautious, that's all.

Gah I hate Batman.

Before I knew it there was a soft knock on my door.

"Mistah J?"

"What is it Harley?"

"Can we talk?"

"Not now Harley. I am not in the mood."

"I know you're mad at me but I just wanted to see what you're thinking about."

Oh god. She knows what I'm thinking about. Here we go.

"And what do you assume I am thinking about?"

"Me being pregnant."

"Ding. Ding. Ding. Give the girl a prize! She guessed I was thinking about possibly the 3rd baby I have created that won't make it into the world."

I told her I wasn't in the mood. Whatever I am about to snarl at her, is her fault.

"Mistah J, it won't get in the way, I promise."

"See Harley that's the thing. You promised last time that the baby wouldn't get in the way, and what do yah know you tried to fight Bats and you lost the baby. It would put my partner in crime out of commission for nearly a year. What am I supposed to do with the baby after that year? Call a nanny. Use one of my best henchmen to protect it instead of us? Harley I don't know about this."

"Let's not decide on anything until I know for sure. I am going to go to the store and get a test-"

"I have already sent Frost he should be back anytime now."

"Really?"

"Yes, now go lay down and rest that pretty little head of yours before I put a bullet in it."

She turned and quietly walked out of my office. I could hear her giggling down the hallway.

I growled to myself, making my way to the epicenter of all of my weapons.

While I was throughly thinking about my life I absent mindedly grabbed a gun and let it lay comfortably in my hand playing with the trigger.

Sometimes I just want to turn back time and let her die in the bat of chemicals.

However, I know even if I were to go back right now I would still jump to pull that blonde out. I knew that I would fall madly in love with her all over again.

So it's decided.

Harley is going to have a baby. And I am going to make sure of it.

Hahahaha

I do not think I have ever said that. And never again will I.

I lay there still in the middle of my office lost in my own thoughts for hours staring at the onesies in the corner of the room.

Realizing that it's time to open the club I marched over to the bedroom to yell at Harley for not telling me but she's lying on the bed, exactly where I told her to be. I make my way in to find that positive pregnancy test next to her.

Can a man just not have one normal day of murder and torture?

"Hey Puddin'."

I nodded my head in response not really sure what to say.

"So you're going to have a baby?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to keep it?"

"I don't know. Do you want me to get rid of it?'

"I am not su-" She cut me off mid sentence and leaped onto me knocking me over.

"OH PUDDIN'! I knew you would let me keep after you thought about it!"

"Harley. Get off of me." I said violently shoving her off my stomach. "I am going down to the club."

"I'll get dressed."

"No you won't. You're staying here."

"But..Puddin'?"

"Eh eh eh… You wanted this baby, you are going to keep it alive. Got it?"

"Got it Mistah J. Have fun at the club without me." She said pouting.

"Oh now don't be like that. Daddy doesn't like to see his queen upset."

"I'm not upset…" She said as a tear rolled down her face.

I REALLY did not miss these pregnancy hormones. I mean look at her, I don't even raise my voice and she's already crying.

"FINE. You can go."

"AW PUDD-" I cut her off again.

"You have to stay in your glass box or be in the office with me, no exceptions got it?"

"Got it."

I walk over to my side of the dresser and grab out my nice button down and a pair of slacks. I start to take off my shirt when I feel a soft pair of freezing cold hands touch my back.

"Harley... What are you doing?"

"I was just thinking, yah know with my head maybe we should be a little late to the club."

"And what do you propose we do until then?"

"Well, uh, I was actually."

This is hilarious this girl has no idea how to come up to her man and tell him shes horny.

"You wanna have sex don't you."

"Yeah, just quickly, I don't know I just feel, I don't know."

"Well if your shenanigans in my kitchen hadn't happened maybe would could, but now Im not in the mood."

"Fine, Ill just go down to the club and find a goon."

"WHAT?! Do you fuck my guards whenever im not around? What am I to you a money supplier, a business partner, because im pretty sure youre carrying MY baby."

And then a thought came to my head, I knew I shouldn't have said it but I did.

"Or is it? Should I end this whole thing right now? Because I can."

I finally look at her truly and I see that she is laughing.

"What the fuck are you laughing at Miss Quinn?"

"You."

"I see that you little-"

"Im laughing at how protective you are. Of course I haven't slept with any of the guards. Most of them would rather die then even touch me because of you."

"Not funny Harley not fucking funny. And you can stay here tonight, ALL night. I will be taking care of business downstairs. If I get a call saying that you have killed one of my guys, I will end this baby." And with that I was done.

HAHAHA

Way to go prince, you missed your chance.


End file.
